Random Conversation

Paige (8 y.o. cousin):  Jenny, you know that Spongebob Squarepants poster you got for Ciera for Christmas?

Me:  Yeah.

Paige:  Can you buy one for me too?

Me:  Do you think I'm going to buy it for you just because you asked?

Paige: ...

Me:  No, you have to earn it.

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Yep!  That's the kind of mom I'm going to be - a hard ass.

Growing Up

Is it because I'm married now that I have this strong urge to observe my culture's traditions?  I've never participated much in the Lunar New Year, except for receiving red envelopes of course, but all of a sudden, I find myself frantically cleaning the whole apartment before Thursday arrives!  It has become absolutely vital that I find a bank that will have crisp, new $5 bills for me to put into red envelopes.  I make the time to go an Asian market to buy small gifts of food and blossoms to give to my great-aunt and my parents.  What's the deal?

If I had to guess, I think I'm trying to observe all these traditions so that I will be prepared to pass them along to my children.  Wow...  Me being a mother.  Be afraid, world.  Be very afraid.

Humor

While watching after my 3 y.o. cousin today I pointed to my mobile phone and asked, "Genevieve, whose phone does that belong to?"  She replied, "Bobo's (her grandmother's dog).  Just kidding..."  lol
 
This reminds me of the day Dan's niece knew a joke when she hears one.  I think she was maybe three, if not younger, and we were playing and Zoe was telling us what color everything is.  Dan points to a color and says, "This color is Blurple!"  Oh my goodness, she laughed soooo hard and told her Uncle Dan blurple is not a color.  haha!  Dan was so proud of making his niece laugh so loud.  :-)
 
I love kids with a sense of humor.  Cute + funny is always a great combo to have in a child.

Marriage

For all those who are curious as to how I am, I am happy.  Not necessarily just happy today, or have been happy for the last few weeks, but overall I am very happy with my life and where it is going.  I truly hope this will make those who care about me worry less about my well-being.  I am healthy, in love, am loved, and happy.

I am going on Month Four of being married and I must say, it is great!  I wish this kind of love, commitment, and happiness to all my friends and family.  There is just something so special about being married. 

People ask me how is married life and a lot of times immediately after asking (before I can even answer them) they follow up with, "Not much has changed, huh?  Still pretty much the same as when you were living together?"  My reply is, "No way!  Being married is way better!"  People on airplanes seem to be way more sympahetic when you ask to switch seats to sit with your husband rather than just your boyfriend.  And I think people just treat you more like an adult when you go do business and run errands together.

It's not that we love each other more BECAUSE we are married.  In fact, I think we love each other more because it just increases everyday just from being around one another. 

Being married gives a pretty powerful statement to the world.  In a time when it's so important to keep your personal information private, I think it's funny how we wear a ring signifying to everyone that you've made a lifetime commitment to someone.  There's a sense of security when you're married.  I mean, I can understand there are exceptions where marriage is a "false" sense of security for some, but I'm talking about real marriage.  The one where two people out of their own free will decide to perform a ceremony, whether religious or civil, an intimate or big extravaganza...  They're not getting married because their parents said so, or because it's the "right" thing to do because they've been dating for so long, or because they have a child together...  Not that there is any wrong with any of those scenarios.  I just don't know much about them to talk about it.

I consider myself to be a pretty liberal person with definite left-wing tendencies, but I also feel like I'm a traditional person who has strong family values. It is these values that make me such a strong believer in the institute of marriage.

Studies have shown that children grow up more balanced and healthy when they are raised by two parents. Children learn how to love by seeing how their parents treat one another. So although I am not necessarily against single parents, divorce, or marriage for reasons other than what I have listed above, I am a very strong supporter of the institute of marriage. 
 
When friends hear that I changed my last name, it amuses me immensely when they say, "Wow, really?  I would've put money down that you would keep your last name!"  The traditional part of me feel like it's important for me to have the same last name as my children.  I want my children to feel like we're all one family unit.  Yes, I said the word "unit".  You can stop giggling now.  ;)
 
Anyway, I apologize for there being no structure in this post.  These are just thoughts regarding marriage that have been couped up in my head and I finally decided to release it to the world.  ;)
 
Disclaimer:  I do not think I am better than single parents, divorcees, women who kept their last name, etc.  I'm just writing about how I like to live my own life.  It's about me and not you.  Hence, me writing it on MY blog.

My Vows

Dan, when I look at you, I see my best friend.  I have been crazy about you since that fateful night on April 28, 2006, when you cracked that joke while dancing next to me in that San Francisco dance club.  Who would've guessed that 4.5 years later we'd be standing here in front of our family and close friends affirming our love and commitment to one another.

I vow to be your strength when you feel weak, I vow to make you smile when you feel down.  I also vow to laugh at all your jokes, even the bad ones, and to remind you to take your allergy medicine every morning.  But most of all, I vow to love you with every fiber of my being, because I know no other way.

You are the best thing to has ever happen to me.

Quality Time

Although Dan and I are getting lots of help from family with the wedding planning, there's something to be said about taking care of let's say, the invitations together.  Just the two of us working as a team to print out the labels, cutting out the inserts, stuffing envelopes, sticking on the stamp and labels, and sealing the envelope shut.  I look at the pile of invitations to send out and take pride in knowing that it was 100% the work of the wedding couple.  :-)  Feels good.

Conversation

Just had dinner with a family friend who also used to be a family/marriage counselor and we went through a few questions on a marriage questionnaire. 

Him:  Does he (Boyrilla) yell?

Me:  No.

Him:  What do you guys do when you argue?

(Boyrilla and I laugh)

Me:  We don't argue.

Him:  What do you do when he does something that bothers you?

Me:  I tell him.  And then he stops.

Our family friend seemed to be pretty satisfied with that answer.  I know it's a funny concept for most people in relationships.  You know, communicating with your partner your feelings, and then your partner empathizing and doing what is needed to make you feel better.  But if you, as a couple, don't master this behavior, you're not going to be very happy.

FOB Much?

(paraphrased)
Me:  Maybe you can splurge on that new phone in June with our tax return.
 
Dan:  I can think of other things I'd rather splurge on - like an iPad.
 
Me:  What?!  An iPad?!  Why an iPad?!
 
Dan:  (deadpan)  That was a joke.
 
Me:  (concerned) well it's not funny.
 
Dan:  If anything it'd be for you...
 
Me:  Why would I want it?  *light bulb lights*  Oh!  An iPad!  I thought you were saying *covers an eye with one hand* an "eye pad".
 
Dan:  You mean an "eye patch"?!  Why would you think "eye pad"?
 
Me:  LoL!  Because I'm a FOB!!!